#14 BETTER LATE THAN NEVER 💜

Edit:

Ive been extremely sick the past week and have been completely unable to finish this post the way I wanted to  so some of the “yesterdays” or “tomorrows” may not make sense so bare with me 🙂 Happy to be back!

image

What you think,

you become.

What you feel,

you attract.

What you imagine,

 you create

I really have no idea where to even begin. I have had the absolute BEST week I have had in a very very long time! If you count Sunday- Sunday, starting last week with Kyndall and Bailey, it’s the most perfect amazing week.

Except my feet.
My ankles.

Owwwww!

Sooooo swollen! Halppppp meeee! 😩 I’ve been spending so much time trying to figure out why they are so swollen and puffy. My oncologist said to elevate them every time I’m sitting down, but to remain ambulatory as much as I can as well…. Keeping your feet above your heart is so hard! I am entirely way to much of a busy body to do so, so the whole “ambulatory” statement was exciting for me 😉

image image

How I feel 🙈😂 ^^

My slippers are worn out from me wearing them in public every single day.

Edit: I ended up stubbing my toe and blood went everywhere so I could no longer wear the ONLY shoes that fit me. 😑

Edit: I saw my primary care physician and got medicine to fix this issue 😜 ALL BETTER!

Anyyyyways! Enough about my feet 😑😖

Got this book from my girl Becca and am super stoked to start reading it and learn more about each topic it covers. Look out world. IM ABOUT TO FIND MY THIRD EYE ONCE AND FOR ALL!

image

Ive also been really into these books lately as well  super good and easy to read and follow! Check them out ☺️

image

Not only was I blessed enough to have two really great friends buy my tickets to 💜Russ Liquid💜 Griz and Glass animals last week, my super sweet Friends Oscar and Kelly invited me to MODEST MOUSE 🙂 I felt like the luckiest girl in all of Tulsa. I was SO excited and couldn’t wait for them to get in town.

image

Let me interrupt real fast- I stopped at OZ before the show just to kill time while waiting on them and bought this super dope Steal your Thunder shirt. I. Am. Obsessed! I guess a bunch of other sports teams have made these their team logos and combining them with the grateful dead… I guess I don’t get out much. But I love it so much I even wore it to church this morning!

image

Back to Modest Mouse. It was absolutely beautiful, and they sounded spectacular. I was so happy to be there with two of my sweetest friends dancing the night away. I love Cains ballroom for many many reasons, I never thought the bleachers on the sides would be one of them. I can sit for a little bit if I’m tired.. Or stand on them and see above the whole crowd and be eye to eye with anyone on stage. My heart was so full 💜

image

Thank you again Oscar and Kelly for inviting me! Xo!

Saturday morning came bright and early- as usual lately with the way my brain works. My love bug Cade, has the most wonderful family who I have grown to love as my own. It didn’t take very long.

His Momma, Good friend, Sister and I loaded up at 6:30 am to go visit him. Four hours there, four hours back, and even five minutes with him is completely worth it.

Even though I got far longer than that. I love him so much and am so excited for him to be living in Tulsa with me. He is the love of my life and I absolutely adore him and thank God for him every day.

image

Today was perfect. We spent the morning with the Lord and I got to enjoy my family and my other favorite Family worshiping together.

Then I got to enjoy Mi Cocina. And Zane. I’ve missed you, chips and salsa. It was perfect patio weather today so we enjoyed the beautiful weather as well!

Shopping was perfect. It was one of those days where you… Find everything you love. You know? One of those days where everything fits perfectly.

ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU CHECK THE PRICE TAG AND ITS WAY LESS THAN YOU IMAGINED IT TO BE.

Yeah, it was perfect. Not to mention spending it with three ladies who have the exact same taste in clothes and décor as I do. I am so so happy and excited about my purchases as well as the ones purchased for me.

image

I am so so excited to decorate a place for Cade and I. I can’t wait to make it super cute and comfy and for it to not look like a bunch of young adults who are barely getting by live there- LOL

Don’t look at my bed..

image

I got to see very good friends, spend time with three women who are very important to Cade and I, and spend time with my parents and Mariah. Not to mention looking Into the eyes of my sweet kind hearted man. —->

SAPPY I KNOW. IM MOVING ON NOW.

<—–And shop. How did I almost leave my favorite past time out?!

Actually I’m not so sure if it’s my favorite anymore…

I think I have officially become a book worm. I’m so okay with it.

Cades sweet momma got me this book and I’m also very excited to start it. I’ve created a waiting list of books I own and want to read “next.” It’s such a tough choice! 😁

image

^^If anyone has read this, please send me your thoughts!^^

I spend the afternoon with my sweet friend Bailey again. I am so blessed that God put her in my life and allowed her to be a teacher and mentor for me. I would be completely lost without her guidance and compassion. Even being confined to a wheel chair she cooked me the most amazing organic tortilla soup. And wouldn’t even let me help! 😩 God really spoiled me when he gave me you.

My parents and I head back down to MD Anderson on Thursday for my post treatment MRI And results on Friday. I know Jesus is carrying me through all of this and has a big big plan for me.

Im not done yet. Not even close. 

image

✨💜MS

#13

You are the universe

expressing yourself

as a human

for a little while.

I’ve been spending so much time coloring lately. It seems to be more of a therapeutic thing for me. I’ve always seen those “Adult coloring books” and got one as a gift then found myself purchasing another one yesterday! 😁😜
I’ve found coloring to be more of an active meditation thing for me. From choosing colors to the act of repetitive motion, I find it to be a huge stress reliever. Stressful thoughts and future worries can be pushed aside while I find time to enjoy the present.

image image

Lisa Congden, an illustrator for Adult coloring books says,
I think for women who don’t know how to draw or don’t feel comfortable or confident drawing, this is another way to socialize and have an activity that they can do with other people … and because you don’t need to concentrate very much when you’re coloring in a coloring book, so you can talk and have glass of wine.

Sign me up girlfriend. Lisa seems to know what’s up.

Her thoughts on coloring being something you can do while socializing brings me to yesterday….

I had one of the best days ever spent with one of my best friends ever, Kyndall.
Kyndall and I met in sixth grade and have always kept a friendship. She is THE funniest, most quick witted and positive friends I have. I’m so glad that each time her and I get back together, wether it’s been a week or a month, nothing has changed. She always keeps my thoughts in the right place and always always keeps a smile on my face.
We had lunch at our favorite spot, went shopping for new makeup and spent the afternoon COLORING and reading at Barnes and Noble. I can’t get enough of that place 😜🙈 and can’t get enough of that girl.

Her and I had a great conversation about maintaining friendships. It’s so refreshing being able to spend 8 hours with the same friend and not feel stressed out or worried about wether or not they’re bored because we aren’t doing something crazy and they don’t have a drink in their hand. NOT that I don’t ever feel this way with my other friendships, but we were able to voice our opinions on it and not feel weird about it. I am SO thankful for this friendship.

Did I mention how Beautiful she is? 😁😍

image

I’ve been obsessed with Ellen lately! That women is hilarious and I love her show. I don’t ever even really watch TV but I can make an exception for her. She does SO many great things for people who really deserve it.

image

I also want to feature this kid I found while I was browning the iNtErWeBz~ earlier.
Kid president? He is so great! He delivers a message in this video about encouraging others. He talks about taking the road less traveled and how we all should be on the same team! Kids are so innocent and sometimes can teach us the best lessons. Did I mention how adorable and hilarious he is? Please take the time to watch this video, you WONT regret it!

Click here for this silly little kid

At the end of the video he asks that you share this video with a certain someone that you feel deserves it.

I pick my girl Bailey

image

Her and I unfortunately are fighting the same battle right now. She has taught me SO much about health and remaining positive. If anyone has wondered where I get it from, it’s her. She has been fighting this awful C word for many years and has still somehow found it in her to keep my spirits high. I appreciate you and our friendship so much sweet girl.

image

Speaking of remaining positive. I wanted to share with you all a little about my fearfulness and anxiety lately. I have these three weeks off from treatment before I go in for my MRI to see if my body responded to treatment at all.

Sometimes, because I’m human, I play the negative ‘What if’ game in my head. It’s like a little party for all the self doubt and fearful thoughts to come and hang out together. They LOVE to get together and go wild. It’s a full on Ibiza rave sometimes. Fortunately, I’m able to ask them to leave.

I do a few different daily devotionals each day (each of them are pretty short) and found one this morning to be super helpful with the problems I listed above about fear and anxiety. I am grateful that I was raised in a Christian household where my parents instilled values in me that lead me to WANT to have a quiet time each day. Without my time with God, I would be wrapped up in worry and fear still.

This is (a little summery) from “Jesus Calling

……..”People who reach the top of the ladder career wise are often surprised to find emptiness awaiting them. True joy is a by product of living in my presence. Therefor you can experience it in palaces, prisons…. Anywhere”
……..”Many of the problems that clamor for your attention will resolve themselves. Other matters you must deal with, but I will help you with them. If you make problem solving secondary to the goal of living close to me, you can find joy even in your most difficult days”

1 Chronicles 16:27

Aaaaaaand for all of my friends or readers who are NON Believers.. Call it Angels, Spirits, God, the Universe, whatever you want. There is something out there made entirely of Love.

What makes you feel good about something is generally good for you.

image

✨💜MS

#12

Listen! The wind is rising,

and the air is wild with leaves,

we have had our summer evenings,

now it’s time for October eves!

Humburt Wolfe

image

Apparently everybody’s favorite month of the year is here! At least that’s what Facebook tells me! HAPPY OCTOBER YALL!

And boy oh boy am I glad to be home!

Tuesday morning I finished up my last round of treatment at MD Anderson. We woke up and packed the car, met with my radiation oncologist and got r a d i a t e d for the L a s t time! Praise the lord. I rang that bell so hard!

image

The now-widespread tradition was introduced in 1996 at MD Anderson when U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Irve Le Moyne, a patient with head and neck cancer, installed a brass bell at the main campus Radiation Treatment Center.”

image

I’ve always heard the term “ringing the bell” after treatment but never realized it originated at MD Anderson.

Ringing out
Ring this bell
Three times well
Its toll to clearly say,
My treatment’s done
This course is run
And I am on my way!

— Irve Le Moyne

Good ol Irve dropping some knowledge for us.

Anyways. It felt so good to walk out of the hospital knowing I had completed my treatment and was soon to be on my way home. I definitely made sure we were completely packed up that way we wouldn’t have to go back to the apartment and could leave directly from the medical center. We made the drive home in about 8 hours which is pretty normal.

I’ve never in my life been so happy to be on 151st street.

Being away from home and uncomfortable for so long really teaches you to not take things for granted like I mentioned in my last post.

I was so happy to see my house and lay in my bed. I was so happy to take my dog on a walk in my neighborhood. IM SO HAPPY TO NOT DROP 99.9% OF MY PHONE CALLS IN MY OWN HOME!

image

Walking in to my bedroom was weird. I’ll do my best to describe the way I felt. I looked around and my room was full of gifts and care packages from before I left. I mean this with so much thanks and happiness- I have gifts from people I had forgot about. It was almost like getting the gift again. I was able to sit down and go through cards I had received from June until now and take in the sweet notes and kind words all over again like it was the very first time.

image

My heart is so full. I can’t even begin to thank everyone enough.  

I have the best team supporting me. I truly love each of you from the bottom of my heart.  

I’ve been through so much not only physically but mentally and emotionally. Im definitely beginning to feel the effects of “Chemo brain”. Im not having a hard time with “short term” memory, but I guess you could say I’m having a hard time finishing sentences or remembering which word I wanted to use. Im even finding it to be more of a struggle when I’m blogging as well. Staying focused has also began to be a problem. I feel that I need to keep my mind busy and strong so that I don’t start to completely lose it 😜

image

I came home to a few packages on the table. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE getting mail?! I feel like Steve from blues clues. Like a little kid on Christmas morning. Like a puppy in Petsmart. Okay. You get it.

One was from my brother and sister in law Marshall and Amber, and of course the three kids as well💜 I wrote in a previous post about wanting to start a gratitude journal. Amber found a great one on Amazon that I can’t wait to start using! It’s also kind of weird because I had seen it and ALMOST bought it from a boutique I was at in Houston. Two great minds think alike! They also sent me these really great eucalyptus wipes that smell and make my skin feel so refreshed amazing! They are also used to rub on achy muscles, which has REALLY been helpful today 🙂

imageimage

The second package was from my gf Cassie. From day one this girl has been giving me all sorts of great insight and compassion. Thank you so much for being there for me in ways that not even my closer friends have been able to be. Thank you for sharing the stories of your mother and her recovery with me, it gives me a sense of hope and comfort. You are so sweet! One of my favorite gifts through all of this have been crystals or anything for healing. I’m glad I have people in my life who are supporting and promoting good health for me. Thank you so much!

image

Oh. And for your viewing pleasure, here’s some cool wine bottles I saw the other day

image image imageimage

Until next time 😉

💜✨MS

#11 TULSA

                                        NOSTOMANIA:

Intense homesickness;

an irresistible compulsion to return home.

I’ve never ever ever been this homesick in my life. I could pull one of those cheesy “home is where the heart is” quotes for you all but I’ll spare you.

But it’s so true.

My heart is literally aching for home. For Tulsa.

You know how every town has those people who hate on their city and talk about “needing to get out of here” blah blah blah and they are normally the ones who never seem to leave right?! Lol OR if FINALLY do, they crash and burn and are back with in a year.

But that’s a whole different story for a different time

I’ve never ever been that type, in fact I have always loved and stood up for my city and everything it had to offer. I’ve always told people that don’t have fun in Tulsa that they must be doing the wrong things with the wrong people at the wrong places, because I have a blast and am so proud of where I come from.

I’m hoping writing this makes it a little easier for me instead of back firing. So far so good! I have a huge smile on my face while brain storming and collecting some thoughts and photos for this entry.

I’ve had one crazy emotional cry-my-heart-soul-and-eyes out complete mental breakdown while being here in Houston. I think that’s pretty good right? Only one in six weeks?! Especially given the circumstances! I deserve an award 🙆🏻
I got really really worked up about the things I’m unhappy with about myself. From my physical shape to how I felt mentally, I had a very weak moment.
It was one of those- you start to cry for one reason then you start thinking of a million other things and then can’t even remember why you started crying in the first place type of cries.

I miss home so much. I can’t express enough how much “it’s the little things” really mean.

I miss my house. I miss stepping on dog food in my kitchen in the middle of the night. I miss the sound of my back screen door slamming. I miss the smell of my dads grill and smoker. I miss having to walk across the street to check the mail. I miss my car that I hate so much!!! I miss juicing in MY kitchen. I miss showering in MY shower. I miss Mariah “borrowing” my clothes. I miss driving in rush hour to and from down town Tulsa for work. I miss spending my lunch break with Heidi at The Pint almost every day. I miss the Yeti. I miss my bedroom with my clothes on MY floor. MY COFFEE JUST DOESNT TASTE AS GOOD HERE!

Did I make that clear enough? Is my point across? Ha I can’t wait to sulk in my bed and take everything in.

I’ve never been homesick in my life. I know I’m repeating that statement but I believe that if I were healthy and traveling or on vacation I wouldn’t feel this way. Everything seems to build up when you don’t feel so well and eventually you’re going to exploaaadddd!

Here’s my explosion. I hope this makes you as happy as it has made me so far. Two more days of treatment then as my brother Marshall puts it on his Facebook status each time he comes home, I’ll be..

Livin on Tulsa Time

image

I never understood how anyone could miss Quiktrip. It’s JUST a gas station.

image

How dare you? No it isn’t. Not at all. Quicktrip is a gem! I miss my morning stops on the way to work each day. Or running to grab something easy and cheap for lunch. Never having to wait in line to get gas? Sign. Me. Up. Not to mention how clean they keep it! Listen to me.. I sound like a mom or something, but with my immune system being my top priority, I have began to notice how disgusting every Valero or Shell gas station down here in Houston is. I drink soooo much water so it seems that if we go anywhere here I’m always having to stop and walk in to these nasty bathrooms. See guys?! The little things! I miss rooster booster slushies so much. Funny thing is I rarely ever drank them anyways, but now that I can’t have one OF COURSE it’s what I crave.

image

I miss Tulsa parks.

image

I’m so excited to be home and see all the trees changing in Woodward park. To take a blanket and a good book is something I’ve been looking forward to the most. One of my favorite past times..

image

I miss Sunday Fundays with all of my best friends on riverside. Some of my happiest moments have been on a blanket at Elwood’s with my most favorite people laughing at everything under the sun. I can’t wait to see you guys and just sit in your presence! I need s $2 mimosa stat!

image

I need Qeenies in Utica square in my life asap. I’m positive there are so many great places here as well but queenies has my heart. Not to mention all of the other daaaaank places in Utica square. I miss the environment and all of the options at my fingertips at home! Maybe it’s the familiarity that I miss. That has to be it.

image

CHERRY STREET AND ALL OF HER GLORY!

Kilkennys. Tuccis. Mi cocina. The Pint. Andolinis. Smoke. Panera. SHOPPING. I miss everything this little street has to offer. I can’t wait to be able to go to a Farmers Market on a Saturday morning. You may have way to much stop and go traffic for how short that you are but I can’t wait to be on you. HA!

image

Brookside. A street I consider myself having grown up on.. I guess since I grew up going to church there I was able to enjoy it more so than others. We have an Urban Outfitters now? What does that even mean? What does that feel like? I’ve been “sick” for so long an unable to even enjoy one of my favorite stores coming to Tulsa. I love patio life and brookside is my go to on a pretty day! Leon’s isn’t that great, let’s admit it- at all. But I love watching any game there! Warehouse blah blah typical bar but brunch with my Bffs is always on point. I’m definitely not leaving out Senior Tequila. Something I miss the most. How? Why? No idea! But your $6 coronaritas on your tiny little patio have been my best friend forever….. Orrrrr should I say since I was 21?

image

Oh my I feel that this has helped! My heart is full and my soul is happy 🙂

I guess you could use the word “content” to describe how I feel about this last week. I strive to remain happy and upbeat because I know it is good for my health. I have TWO more days of treatment then it’s onward to the next chapter.

image

Tulsa- I’ll be seeing you Tuesday night.

image

✨💜 MS

#10

Those who love deeply never grow old;
they may die of old age,
but they die young.

-Benjamin Franklin

Okay.

That quote is completely irrelevant as to what I’m posting about today but I love it so much! It’s beautiful and really stood out and spoke to me in the book I just finished, which I LOVED by the way.

My mom and I finished up my radiation treatment for this week and had some time to kill before I met with my pain specialist. We grabbed some coffee from Starbucks and then decided to go to this super cute breakfast café in Rice Village called La Peep near the medical district.
I absolutely love finding little whole in the wall places 😍😍

image

Okay, I really just liked it because there was a stone and gem store across the street that I couldn’t wait to check out.

Table for two please! We sat down and ordered and shortly after us there was a mom and daughter who sat at a table near us who were clllleeeeeaaaarlllllyyyy just MISERABLE and not happy from the get go.

From waiting tables for so long, you learn that tables like these (and a few other unmentionables) are the worst to wait on.

The worst. WHY do people go out to eat when they are pissed/fighting/crying or any other negative emotion?

S t a y at home. Do us all a favor.

These two super *smart* ladies decided to split an omelet. One omelet. I don’t know about you all but I could kill that alone, especially for breakfast! I over heard them as the waitress sat it down and walked away and the bratty daughter (late 20s) (aka old enough to know better) was complaining about how small it was.
She WOULD NOT LET IT GO.
So then her mom got in on it and they just could not stand how small their omelet was when it was SPLIT.

We heard all about this for about 10-15 straight minutes.

The daughter and I kept making eye contact and I just looked at her laughing and was shaking my head.

SMH. (Now I can say I’ve used this acronym) lol

There is absolutely no way that she didn’t get the vibe that everyone else and I could hear how ridiculous she sounded.

The manager came over and explained how they use three eggs blah blah blah. It doesn’t matter anyways because unfortunately in the service industry the customer is always right. I always hated that rule…. I was so bad at it. Ha!

Anyways, the daughter was flinging it around on her fork like a cave man and telling the manager she was going to take a photo of it and post it to the internet so nobody would go in there anymore….. Ya okay.

image

My mom and I were in complete shock that people act so upset over some thing so small… They were sooooo mad to begin with but the way they spoke to the waitress and manager had me messed up! That could also be my inner waitress at heart.

I’m so outspoken and have never had a problem voicing my opinion so I had thought about going over to the table.

Nope. My mom did because shes the Coolest mom ever!🙈

Her goal wasn’t to be rude or offensive. She didn’t want to attack them either. But I stepped away because I knew I would.

She told them that there is so much more to life than your breakfast being a little smaller than what you had imagined. She said “I’m down here for my daughters treatment for brain cancer that is incurable and you think your food is to small… “ the daughter sat there with her mouth open like a fool (still being a caveman) and the mother said “I’m so sorry I hope everything goes well for her” and my mom ended up just shaking her head in disbelief and said “you know if you wanted more why don’t you just go home and whip up another egg? Life is just to short”

(In the kindest sweetest most sincere voice ever)

I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. I just looked at the ladies with a blank face and hope that maybe somehow my mom got across to them. I’m praying that she was able to open their eyes and soften their hearts a little.

I’m also still laughing and shocked that my mom “pulled a Meagan” and said whatever she wanted!

I love her so hard for that.

My point: Don’t sweat the small stuff.

image

I spent some time learning more about WordPress and html and all that other *fun* stuff yesterday. There is sooooo much that I still don’t know or understand and I still don’t have my page looking quite how I want it. I guess it’ll just take some time and some learning before I officially get the hang of things.

I also spent time viewing other blog and pages that sparked my interest. I found this one super cute lady who had a link on her page to her website where she makes the cutest cards, tote bags and other miscellaneous gifts.

Can you say obsessed?! All of her things are priced reasonably and I fell in LOVE with her cards!

She makes Empathy cards for cancer patients that fall under the category of “cards you wish people got for you.” Let me just say I completely understand the cards and think they are a fabulous idea!

CLICK ME FOR CARDS 🙂

image image image image

Yes. People still try changing my mind about accepting chemo and radiation. Don’t people think that before choosing this route for myself that I spent a lot of time consulting with my team of doctors, praying about it and deciding that I think this is the best route for me right now? I have the Internet as well and can read all about clinical trials and other ways to accept treatment but this is what I chose and I’m honestly worn out on people trying to change my mind about it. Also- I’ve already started, have passed my half way mark AND am almost finished.

Please- please be respectful when talking to patients about chemotherapy and radiation or which ever route they chose to take  

And YES! Everything tastes so terrible. Well, not everything. But the constant taste in your mouth and smell in your nose of burning skin that won’t go away is no fun at all! 😖

The cards really nailed it on the head and I’ll definitely be ordering from her!

She has a sale going on right now where if you buy six cards you get 25% off! Check her out!

My favorite tote bag from her site..

image

It’s been on my heart lately to remind my friends and family that I still have an open ear. I realize a lot of things have been about me lately and everyone wants to cater to me and take care of me but I really really miss listening to my friends or loved ones vent.

That doesn’t sound normal at all, right? But I mean it so much. It’s the small things right? Someone told me recently that they feel bad mentioning when they have a headache because they know how bad I get headaches… I don’t want anyone to feel that they can’t talk to me about issues no matter how small or big they may be.

If you stub your toe, fail a test or are even planning a huge vacation, I still want to know! I miss being able to offer my advice and support to others. I miss being kept in the loop

Let me support you friends! After all, it really helps me get my mind off of things as well.

✨💞 MS

image

#9 (Feeling fine)

Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people,
A heart that forgives the worst,
A mind that forgets the bad
And a soul that never loses faith in God.

-unknown

image

I recently started reading “Brain Power –improve your mind as you age”. I fell in love with its context and that the idea behind it helps guide you to also improve your longevity, wellness and life. I’m willing to do just about anything to keep stretching my brain and making better more healthy choices to live a longer more fulfilling life. So far this book has taught me that even with this “set back” I’m facing, I can have a brilliant life. I am just a little over half way through and have learned some wonderful tools that will push and motivate me to not only survive, but thrive. The authors, Michael Gelb and Kelly Howell present the most comprehensive and up-to-date reviews of simple yet powerful strategies
I can implement to not just preserve but improve the power of my brain as I age.

I want to share a part with you all that has really spoken to me over the last 24 hours. I feel that this was something I wish I would have read even just before my last entry… I found myself somewhat bitter and harsh as I spoke of a situation that I felt disrespected me. I want to find joy in everything and try and see the light in most situations no matter what!
Bare with me ☺️

Develop Mental Acuity and Extend Your Life with a Daily Dose of GFH.

GFH isn’t the latest hormone therapy. It’s an acronym for three essential practices that improve mental acuity and extend your life: gratitude, forgiveness, and humor.”

The word gratitude comes from the Latin root gratia, translated as “grace”.
Robert A. Emmons PhD, and Michael E. McCullough PhD, on behalf of a research project about gratitude and thankfulness had an experiment to measure the effects of the disposition to be grateful. They came to the conclusion that the people who took part in the study who recorded their blessings rather than burdens were more adaptive, optimistic and reported a significantly greater experience of well being. To me, those things are obvious and go without saying. However, I was intrigued by the fact that those who kept gratitude journals reported fewer physical ailments as well. I am going to start keeping a gratitude journal where each morning I will write down a few things that inspire me to feel grateful or awaken my soul. After I complete my list each morning, they encourage you to spend a few minutes “floating” in the feeling of gratitude. Repeat this process each evening. In doing so, that’s all it takes to get your immune system revved up! As you count your blessings you discover that you are blessed.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others” – Cicero

image

The British poet and playwright Hannah Moore refers to forgiveness as the “economy of the heart.” She explains that it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred and the waste of spirits. For me and I’m sure many other people, forgiveness is one of the more challenging attributes to embrace.

Forgiveness is something that I have always struggled with. I think that I’ve always had a hard time doing so because I’ve faced many obstacles where I’ve been forced to forgive people who weren’t always asking for forgiveness. I’ve found that my negative emotions don’t protect me, they harm me. In the long run my ability to not fully forgive has released a flood of stress hormones leaving me incapable of moving forward with a person or situation. I’m slowly learning through out this book that forgiveness takes practice and patience. There is a page that talks about how forgiveness is easier when you can empathize with the person you are forgiving. Now who on earth wants to do that? NOT ME- typically.. But there’s a quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that puts it ever so perfectly..
“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each persons life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility”

image

According to Fred Luskin PhD, director of Forgiveness Project at Stanford University and author of Forgive for Good, Forgiveness helps with:
1) High blood pressure
2) Reducing anxiety and depression
3) Improving sleep patterns

I’m making a vow to myself (and I guess all of my readers) 😉 to work on not getting so hung up on things of the past or people who have wronged me. I’m allowing myself to “deal with” things I don’t agree with but also accept that there is way more to life than holding any type of grudge against anyone. I want to forgive and forget and to show love in a way that could only push others to love whole heartedly. If forgiving others helps my health let alone my brain heal and improve to a greater state, sign me up.

“Awaken More Brain Cells with Humor”
Nowwwww we are talking! This last part of the “GFH” acronym is the most exciting part for myself! I apologize if I went on a tangent above and got a little to deep, but I found myself to be extremely passionate about learning gratitude and forgiveness. Humor seems to come a little easier to me because it’s something I can always find light in.
Norman Cousins wrote a classic book called Anatomy of an illness as perceived by the patient. He speaks of how his most successful form of therapy being laughter. He says “I made the joyous discovery that 10 minutes of belly laughter had an anesthetic effect.”
I can only see this being true because I find myself spending countless hours on Pinterest using the search bar for tags like humor, funny and jokes. Sometimes I get lost on there for entirely way to long but I know it brings a huge sense of happiness to me in that moment. I laugh by myself and then laugh at myself for laughing by myself.. I’m simple minded when it comes to silly jokes! The most cheesy of E-cards get me every time! My Extremely good girlfriend Amy Ariana who I miss SO MUCH, have probably sent each other well over 1000 pins on Pinterest just to make the other laugh or smile. It warms the soul!

There have been many studies that have proven Norman Cousins right, laughter has an analgesic effect especially for arthritis AND neurological diseases!
Laughter:
1) Releases endorphins in to the blood stream
2) Eases muscle tension
3) Boosts immunity
4) Increases our heart rate
5) Helps us breath more deeply
6) Stretches many different muscles in our face and upper body
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE
7) Suppresses the release of cortisol, the stress hormone

Because of my Glioblastoma being located on my pituitary gland and causing it to be completely shot, any hormonal or thyroid issue will pretty much forever be there. (Sorry Cade) 🙈 Anything I can do to ease the stress hormone or ANY “out of whack” hormone (all of them) 😑 is definitely a plus in my book!

Alongside my gratitude journal, I’m also going to start jotting down a few things from each day that made me laugh! Who wouldn’t want to look back a year later and read about the funny stories or jokes that you yourself found hysterical? Im thinking this is an excellent idea to surround myself with laughter!

Please! Friends and family! Send me all of the funnies you find! I may even feature them and you on an entry coming up soon!

Now for some of what’s going on in “real life” right meow 😻

We are wrapping up the time that my Grandma Sue is in town with us. I have enjoyed her company so much and I love her to the moon and back! Thank you for coming to see me and contributing to seeing that I am well! You always, ALWAYS pick the best jewelry! I’m loving this beautiful bracelet 😘

image

Jenny also came in town and today is her 24th Birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNNNAYYY💜💕⭐️💞

image

💜”There are good friends, there are best friends, and then theres you” 💜

We celebrated last night at Painting with a twist! Momma, Grandma Sue, Jenny and I signed up for this rustic painting class where we enjoyed some good wine and a cracker/cheese/pepperoni dish! 🍷 FANCY HUH!

Heres my final product!

image

I also got these marker-pens in the mail shipped from Amazon… They came in a huge box by themself with no sender information.. Who are you mystery gift giver?

image

“I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells”
– Dr. Seuss

I’m going to wrap this up with a few of my favorite pins from Amy Ariana- My soul sista!

Meagan✨💞

image image image image image image

#8

“Not everyone you lose is a loss”

Unknown

image

It has been tough for me to wrap myself around those words the past few days. I am stuck in a boat where I need to completely disconnect myself from anything and everything that is not a positive in my life. If it isn’t bringing positivity, good character and good morality it has to go. I won’t go in to any details about what started these thoughts or feelings for the sake of privacy and “drama”, but I will say I’ve had enough.

99.9% of the the people in my life respect me and my health and bend over backwards to make sure I am comfortable and in the absolute best of situations. Just like a quote from a previous post “I do not have time for things that have no soul”.

⭐️Soul- the principle of life, feeling, thought and action in humans. The emotional part of human nature. The spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect.

*I may or may not have put together that definition from three definitions of the word Soul* 😁

Who you are and what you represent is purposeful enough. I’ve always taken pride in not changing anything about myself to “fit in” or please anybody. I’ve finally made it to a point in my life where I love myself. I have also realized there is a very thin line when it comes to really loving yourself and thinking you are “above” others.

I am having a hard time remaining humble and level-headed thinking about a recent situation where I was engulfed in my feelings. For once, in the last three months they were not 100% about bettering myself. It is mind blowing that it took me being diagnosed with cancer to realize who my true friends and family are. The amount of self worth I posess is at an all time high. I will not jeopardize my happiness for one moment of nostalgia of a past I have closed the door to. Nobody is magic enough to control my emotions. If they are ever causing you to feel negative or make a decision in your life that isn’t serving you, there is work that needs to be done.

image

5 keys for #MegStrong

1) Set healthy boundaries
2) Stop tolerating toxic people
3) Take care of your physical, mental and emotional well being
4) Own your own story
5) Love yourself for it

I warned you! 🙆🏻 Sorry love bugs for throwing that real real at you! There are many thoughts and emotions going through my head and I only hope that my brutal honesty is somewhat interesting and easy to follow.

I had such a good time with my girl Darian in Dallas Saturday and Sunday! Our first Greyhound experience was definitely a trip. No pun intended 😁 Kelsie Picked us up and we killed some time before the concert going to get our nails done. She took us to her favorite salon off of McKinney Avenue that I couldn’t get over😍 It was so cute and quaint and very well decorated. Beautiful flowers and plants everywhere and it resembled a small wooden house. Definitely something I’m going to remember for future reference 💗

imageimage

Everyone arrived from Tulsa shortly after. My heart was filled with so much joy to see ones I care about. It has been well over a month since I’ve got to spend time with these certain special ones and I couldn’t have felt closer to home. Bliss

image

Can we just touch base on Beats Antique real quick? HOLY MOLY ZOE! #CreatureCarnival took over the Bomb Factory Saturday night in Dallas! I can’t count how many times I’ve had the pleasure of going to a Beats Antique show but I can assure you it gets better every time. I’ve danced to Beats in the Electric Forest, in the rain and even had the chance to dance on stage with my close girlfriend Bailey during the encore a few years ago, but never have I ever seen a performance like the Creature Carnival brought. It’s safe to say we were all thoroughly impressed and wish we could have lived in that moment just a little bit longer 💜

image

The Bomb Factory is a newer venue in Dallas that has a lot going for it. It seems to be able to hold a large amount of people, is very clean and in a good area.

image

-Downsides-

Bottle of Water – $6
Domestic Beer – $6.75

I’m not sure who they think they are but unless that’s holy water I’ll plan to be extremely more hydrated with the H2o before I enter.. Just a little ridiculous 😁

After a little more research, I found out the venue offers this super cool glow yoga occasionally that looks like something all of my friends would be interested in 🙂

image

Don’t forget your water bottle though 😉

Its to that time again! Jenny is back for her 3748374th visit and I couldn’t be more ecstatic! I love having a best friend who loves the exact same things as me and is willing to make the drive to spend time with me. We spent almost four hours at Barnes & Noble today where I scored these two really great books.

image

Her and I like to spend the majority of the time sitting in the isles discussing books page by page 😜  I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ive also mentioned before that some of my most favorite gifts from anyone have been the “simple things”. My brother and sister in law, Matt and Sheila have picked up on my obsession for gems and crystals lately through some of my posts. I received such a wonderful care package from them today that I couldn’t be more in love with. They hand picked stones for me that are known to have positive energy that help treat major diseases like cancer and tumors.

image

Check out that BEAUTIFUL piece of smoky Quartz 😍😍

💜 My favorites💜

Smoky Quartz- shortens the after effects of chemo and radiation, stimulates cellular regeneration.

Fluorite- nourishes the body, purifying and cleansing, restructing the cells DNA

Malachite- promotes good health, effective in killing tumors and cancerous growths

Im so thankful for each and every care package/card/letter or note and am so happy I have the people in my life that I do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who strive to make me smile and help me with health and happiness. I wouldn’t be where I am in this journey with my positivity and good energies if it wasn’t for each person who Genuinly loves me. I’m wrapping up my last full week here and am so excited to get to be home in my own environment and be with my family. I’m so ready for a rooster booster slushy and my bed 😍☺️

image

I snapped this photo the other night when Jenny and I went to see the hospitals newest finished product. MD Anderson really is a beautiful place. It’s unfortunate that I have to be here but I’m lucky I get to be.

✨💕Meagan